First impressions

New people, same people: It takes her a moment
to come to terms with it, come to terms with them
not actually being the same, the whole situation
new but the same, I, who was going to be reborn,
start over, reinvent myself on this clean slate, once again
I am the same, me, always a big disappointment.

I don't know what I expected for first impressions, of myself, or them, or this first meeting,
but I seem to have been punctured somehow, it's like all the air is drained from me, I'm just bone and exhaustion, my mind won't still and I'm too tired to catch the thoughts.

Maybe I was expecting something newer, more different, more unlike anything I've ever experienced before, or maybe I was expecting something more the same, something more like what I've experienced before, the same names and faces and buildings (neither of these possibilities exist in reality -- I think I expected both.)

Soon they will be, they'll be the new familiar, the same to which I will compare the new in the future. But so far it's all new, and exciting, and tiring.

I don't know what I'm expecting from myself, and them, and this year to come,
but I will do my best to try and make the most of it.