Lately I feel like there's not enough of me to go around. It's frustrating me to no end. I want to be there for people and not neglect them even though my schedule is packed, I want to do a great job in anything I do and still not neglect my own projects, and I try to do these things (and not neglect myself at the same time either) and it's just too impossible. I guess I'm not enough. Or good enough or not trying hard enough or something..
Anyway. Spending the night in North Van and skiving off work was a great idea, because the little clown-nose photo shoot that Cesar and I organized spontaneously did the trick, and so did the audition I went to yesterday. I feel a little more alive now.
The audition went well, I think. I found the place, I accidentally stumbled in on the person before me doing his audition, but the girls were really cool about it. I did my thing. They seemed to not hate it. The girl whose written and will direct it asked me to do it again as though I were drunk, so there goes Cesar's a my theory about them probably wanting it to be played very seriously, but I did that and at the end they burst out laughing and said it was hilarious (I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not yet) and then added the customary "Great, we'll be in touch" bit and now I'm waiting to hear from them.. It's just a student short, so it's unpaid, but the girls seem really cool and I really want to work with them, actually I just need to work on something that's not retail or serving, so I really hope I get it.
I'm between my jobs right now, and for the first time in my life I wish I meant "unemployed" when I say that, but unfortunately I mean that literally. I just got off work in Roots and came to Death by Chocolate early to use their wireless and drink their coffee before I start round 2 at six...
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I LOVE AUTUMN
Working in Roots is not my thing at all. I understand that it's good quality clothes and genuine 100% italian leather bags made in Toronto as opposed to China as everything else in the store (except for the new scarves that are, as I discovered today, made in Germany.) and all that, but to be honest (and I sincerely hope my manager or co-workers don't stumble upon this blog in the near future!) I couldn't care less if I was apathetic. Personally, what I do to contribute to the world of fashion, is I go to a thrift store and if I like the look of it and it's comfortable (and nine times out of ten, black) and cost under $10 then chances are I might buy it. Shoes, bags and purses, whether they're comfortable or not, I probably won't, because to be honest I don't see the fascination. At all. I still have the black boots I bought in sixth grade. When I was younger I would design and make my own clothes a lot of the time, at least that way there was some creativity exercised as well, but I couldn't drag my sowing machine with me everywhere I've moved and I definitely couldn't bring it overseas with me, so I'm not doing that anymore. Now, I might be wanted by the fashion police in some areas of the world, but at least I have somewhat interesting hobbies, and I used to have a life as well, one that involved more complicated and profound obsession, mainly chiselling out a facade of self-adoration, no but seriously... my best friend adores fashion and wants to be a designer and he's obsessed with shoes and boots, but whereas I do like clothes and design in all shapes and forms, I have a short attention span for things that are mainly functional in my life and it might not be logical, but it just bores me... My head's in the clouds half the time and by the time I discover that I do like something that's "in", it's out... or usually the other way round actually, I'll wear whatever I feel like and be out, and by the time I've tired of it, that style or colour or whatever it is, comes into fashion... so I guess you could say I'm ahead of my time! Hah. Well, there you go. You can keep your logic for all I care.
Back to the job in Roots for a moment though, the whole people aspect of it is even worse than when you're waitressing, because when you're waitressing you're at least expected to approach people, in fact they get pretty grumpy if you take too long in doing so, whereas in retail they run away from you or glare if you as much as think of cracking a polite smile or greeting them as they enter your store... and it is not in my nature to approach people, or talk to people, or smile at people. It is in my nature to avoid people at all costs unless the few friends I've consented to make over the years literally corner me and introduce me to someone, I might consider getting to know the person, but before I do know them there will be as little chit-chat as humanly possible... well, that was the old me anyway, I guess I'll have to change if I'm going to survive the next year or so (unless I decide to move out of the country after all, I still haven't decided)
Good news coming up though. I finished my screenplay with the working title "Tequila Rose". The first draft is officially done. Now all I need is some feedback and some re-writes under my belt until it's perfect, and then I think that is going to be my first own project in the spring.
I've also started working on a second screenplay actually. The working title being "Blue print". It's about halfway done right now. If I didn't work 24/7 I might actually finish that one too before the next moon, but alas, I have no spare time to as much as eat or sleep anymore, so I don't see that happening...
Tonight, I'm going to an ESL Writing Workshop at the Main Library downtown. Something different to do, I figured. And afterwards I'll probably head over to North Van and spend some quality time with my best friend Ces, since I barely see him anymore because of both of our schedules. Same with my other best friend, Ana. But she's taking the writing workshop too, so I'll et to see her tonight too.
Back to the job in Roots for a moment though, the whole people aspect of it is even worse than when you're waitressing, because when you're waitressing you're at least expected to approach people, in fact they get pretty grumpy if you take too long in doing so, whereas in retail they run away from you or glare if you as much as think of cracking a polite smile or greeting them as they enter your store... and it is not in my nature to approach people, or talk to people, or smile at people. It is in my nature to avoid people at all costs unless the few friends I've consented to make over the years literally corner me and introduce me to someone, I might consider getting to know the person, but before I do know them there will be as little chit-chat as humanly possible... well, that was the old me anyway, I guess I'll have to change if I'm going to survive the next year or so (unless I decide to move out of the country after all, I still haven't decided)
Good news coming up though. I finished my screenplay with the working title "Tequila Rose". The first draft is officially done. Now all I need is some feedback and some re-writes under my belt until it's perfect, and then I think that is going to be my first own project in the spring.
I've also started working on a second screenplay actually. The working title being "Blue print". It's about halfway done right now. If I didn't work 24/7 I might actually finish that one too before the next moon, but alas, I have no spare time to as much as eat or sleep anymore, so I don't see that happening...
Tonight, I'm going to an ESL Writing Workshop at the Main Library downtown. Something different to do, I figured. And afterwards I'll probably head over to North Van and spend some quality time with my best friend Ces, since I barely see him anymore because of both of our schedules. Same with my other best friend, Ana. But she's taking the writing workshop too, so I'll et to see her tonight too.
Monday, October 13, 2008
And she's back...
It's cats and dogs outside in Vancouver today. I'm sitting in my least favourite coffee shop in the city and watching people in hoods scurry by the window, presumably on their way to give thanks together with their families and stuff their faces with turkey. Luckily, I'm Swedish and have nothing to be thankful for, so I don't have to worry about that. I mean, All Hallow's Eve and Christmas are bad enough for my stress level, I don't think heart could cope with another Holiday in one Autumn/Winter to be honest.
I know it's been a while since I've updated my blog, and to anyone who's keeping track, I'd like to apologize for this, but the thing is I got another job. Yeah, that's right. I'm working in Roots on Granville, yep, you heard me right, a day job, selling, I know what you're thinking, but no, I'm not smelling popcorn and I do hate it, but this ghastly boredom of a job is actually an investment for the future, but I'll tell you more about that later... Also, before I got my second job I was ill for quite a while. It took Ana's worry and persistance to bring me back to the land of the living. That and some vacuuming and sushi.
Today/tonight is actually my one day off in a fortnight. I had it fully booked, actually. I was having coffee with Ces in the morning, then coffee and british comedy with Syd at noon and then finally non-thanksgiving dinner at Ana's place at six. I guess the dinner might still happen, but the first two are goners, because I woke up quite late this morning and realized that my mobile had gone and died on me during the night. My charger is in North Vancouver (on Holiday) and my room mate (who has the same phone, thus the same charger) is nowhere to be found. What to do? I have no idea. I just hope my agent isn't trying to contact me today. I already blew a pilot audition opportunity because of a dead phone this week!
It was great working with Hedy in Death by Chocolate again, though. I hate this place, but I missed working with Hedy. My manager in Roots is a sweetheart and she adores me, which is nice, and it makes the whole ordeal a lot easier, but I can't be myself around her, obviously. She adores the picture of me that Ana and Hedy painted as my references (lying through their teeth) in order to get me the job; you know, people person, easy-going, great out-going personality, good humoured, etc etc. And when she asked Hedy what I would do when it was quiet, Hedy didn't say, well we usually go for a smoke, have a coffee and do the crossword, she said, ooh, Ida always finds something to do! I mean they went out of their way, stretching their imaginations to their limits, I've no doubt, because not only did my manager fight with the Head Office to have me hired despite going away to Sweden for three weeks over Christmas when no Roots employees are allowed to take any time off, she also fought to raise my pay, so they must have sold me really good. Only problem with that is, of course, now I have to live up to it. Hedy doesn't care, I'm sure, she rather have me work here with her every day instead anyway. But Ana works in Roots on 4th and her job would be on the line if I fucked things up...
No news on the riddance of the little pin cushion or the retrieval of my precious dvds, but Tony has established contact with the girl and communication is, albeit slow, on-going. More on this unfortunate adventure later on.
I know it's been a while since I've updated my blog, and to anyone who's keeping track, I'd like to apologize for this, but the thing is I got another job. Yeah, that's right. I'm working in Roots on Granville, yep, you heard me right, a day job, selling, I know what you're thinking, but no, I'm not smelling popcorn and I do hate it, but this ghastly boredom of a job is actually an investment for the future, but I'll tell you more about that later... Also, before I got my second job I was ill for quite a while. It took Ana's worry and persistance to bring me back to the land of the living. That and some vacuuming and sushi.
Today/tonight is actually my one day off in a fortnight. I had it fully booked, actually. I was having coffee with Ces in the morning, then coffee and british comedy with Syd at noon and then finally non-thanksgiving dinner at Ana's place at six. I guess the dinner might still happen, but the first two are goners, because I woke up quite late this morning and realized that my mobile had gone and died on me during the night. My charger is in North Vancouver (on Holiday) and my room mate (who has the same phone, thus the same charger) is nowhere to be found. What to do? I have no idea. I just hope my agent isn't trying to contact me today. I already blew a pilot audition opportunity because of a dead phone this week!
It was great working with Hedy in Death by Chocolate again, though. I hate this place, but I missed working with Hedy. My manager in Roots is a sweetheart and she adores me, which is nice, and it makes the whole ordeal a lot easier, but I can't be myself around her, obviously. She adores the picture of me that Ana and Hedy painted as my references (lying through their teeth) in order to get me the job; you know, people person, easy-going, great out-going personality, good humoured, etc etc. And when she asked Hedy what I would do when it was quiet, Hedy didn't say, well we usually go for a smoke, have a coffee and do the crossword, she said, ooh, Ida always finds something to do! I mean they went out of their way, stretching their imaginations to their limits, I've no doubt, because not only did my manager fight with the Head Office to have me hired despite going away to Sweden for three weeks over Christmas when no Roots employees are allowed to take any time off, she also fought to raise my pay, so they must have sold me really good. Only problem with that is, of course, now I have to live up to it. Hedy doesn't care, I'm sure, she rather have me work here with her every day instead anyway. But Ana works in Roots on 4th and her job would be on the line if I fucked things up...
No news on the riddance of the little pin cushion or the retrieval of my precious dvds, but Tony has established contact with the girl and communication is, albeit slow, on-going. More on this unfortunate adventure later on.
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