stressed

Went and checked out a classroom that we might be able to shoot in, afterwards I had brief meeting with just Tove and discussed photography/cinematography, then Caroline called me and wanted my help on a film shooting in May and June, which would mean a whole lot of puzzling for me to make it work, but it would be awesome. Now I have to write an outline for school, deadline tonight. And I've half the work left on translating the subtitles for that documentary as well. And the short film that I was cast in starts shooting next week I think, as well.. I don't have time to work a proper job! I'll starve this summer too!

auditioning

I'm sitting on the bus home, waiting for Ana to call me back. Besides the callback audition I've just been to, I haven't done anything useful today. Just watched Big Fish and the X-files episode Bad Blood. I was going to go get the second birth control thingy out of my arm this morning but I cancelled my appointment since the pharmacies had closed by the time I got back to Stockholm yesterday and wouldn't have opened in time for my appointment, especially since the ointment that numbs your skin is supposed to be applied at least two hours before you start slicing-and-dicing if it's going to have any effect. Also, I was really tired. I had another audition last night and got back and into bed quite late. Blogging just isn't the same when you're typing on a phone... I have mixed feelings about tonight's audition. I did a lot better than last time, I was still schmacting, but not as much and I think they might genuinely like me, which means there's a slight possibility that I'll get the part... Half-nude scene and all... O.O

back to it

I hate leaving places, especially my family's, I prefer arriving. Any place, though. I hate leaving my own place in order to arrive in my family's place. Just the idea of it, I think: leaving vs arriving, there's something about that, on a deeper level. Going away. I hate it. Which is ironic, since I'm a really restless person and I'm always longing to get away, compulsively relocating, need to keep moving, any forward motion counts, even if it's within a circle on a larger scale.. I've spent a week in my parents house. And worked from home on my short film and the TV assignments for school, although I've had some technical difficulties and haven't been nearly as productive as I'd planned to be.. But I've bought my first two LP records ever! Iron Maiden's "Fame" and an Blue Oyster Cult. I've also fallen in love with the whole vinyl thing and the superior sound of them compared to CD's and mp3 and spent all of yesterday sampling my parents old collection. I discovered Jefferson Airplane, Creedence and Velvet Underground, rediscovered T Rex and Deep purple, as well as Meatloaf although I never really fell out of love with him to begin with.. I also discovered, doing some geeksearch on Wiki that my favourite Sabbath album is made after Ozzy wad kicked out, so he's not the singer in those songs! Got an audition tonight that I'm regretting ever applying for.. Not that I'd ever get the part since their looking for a fit and androgynous person, but still..

Busy bee, busy bee, busy beeezzZZ

I'm back home visiting my parents now. So far, so good. Although my diet is already suffering.. Other new developments, that would be of some kind of interest to you (even though I'm sure that my diet will now be the topic of your conversations for days to come...)

On my way here, as I was waiting for the train actually, I got an email from the producer I did my internship with last term, asking me if I'd be willing to translate the dialogue of one of her films into English for the subtitles for when she sends it to festivals, and I'll get paid for it and everything! Yay for paid work!

I finished the synopsis and Director's vision and my film CV, for the pre-production package for the short film, now all I have left to do is the mood board (saving the most difficult to last) and then we're all set to apply for funding and whatnot, so film people, ideas and moral support for the mood board-making, please...

What else... went with my mum to this theme day at CFL yesterday, it was quite interesting. Lectures/discussions about Vision work and Sustainable development, within the municipality of Söderhamn (my home town). I got some great creative inspiration and a film idea out of it, too.

Oh, and I got the room in the commune! So I'm no longer homeless-to-be! Which is a load off my mind and shoulders, now I can focus on my mood board and my assignment for school tomorrow -- I'm supposed to write for television in a group this and next week, my group just had their first brainstorming meeting, via crappy chat program on First Class, although we didn't do nearly enough brainstorming for my taste, it was more focus on agreeing on semantics about what the assignment actually was, and having not read the schedule or the assignment at all, I got rather restless, once we'd decided which idea we were going with, I wanted to start brainstorming for real, come up with ideas for sub-plotlines, key scenes, underlying themes, character developments and archs and relationships and all that stuff... but we decided that we're supposed to brainstorm on our own respectively (...) and chat again tomorrow morning -- I don't know when I'll have time to go to the neighbouring town Bollnäs and apply for a new passport at this rate, but I'll have to think of something...

Now, before I start brainstorming with myself... I'm going to give Anja a call and talk casting.

On the go

Waiting for train.. "and feeling nearly as faded as my jeans"

wind in the willows

It's a storm outside. But I defy the weather, I have things to do. I've been running errands all day, all over Stockholm. I just came from a women's clinic downtown where I was getting the birth control thingy out of my arm, and she got the first one out (there's two of them, they look like little rubber sticks, placed like a V under the skin) but the second one was stuck, so she got a colleague to come assist her and they were cutting and pulling but the thing just wouldn't come out -- so it's still in there. I'm going back in a week to give it another go.. Now I'm at the police station in Solna to apply for a new passport and ID. I'm exhausted just from running around, and my arm is quite sore, making my laptop even more of a hassle to lob around.. I just want to go home and relax with some miso, but I have to go to the library next. Things to do, things to do, you can rest when you're dead, away with you!

deadlines

I've come to the realisation that procrastinators and adrenaline junkies are related. I don't procrastinate because I'm lazy, I do it because subconsciously I crave the rush of having a deadline hanging over me like some sword of Damocles. So I'm not lazy. I'm not.

I bought a flower!