Life sucks, then you die.

I thought today was friday. It's not. It's saturday, which means I have to go downtown and clean my sister-in-law's office. It's thrown my entire plan for today. I'm such a Rainman. Really.

Dad transferred some money into my account yesterday so that I could buy coffee, and something to eat. Made my weekend. Well, until now.

And I'm stressing about future now, just because I'm stressed about today, I don't know how that works but that's what I always do, I get stressed about one little thing, and all the stress about everything else that's not even topical or even real. Well, having to move again at the end of May is real, all too real, in fact that's so real I can't even deal with it, so I'm not actually stressed about that.

I'm stressed about the plan. About bartender training and moving to the UK and all that stuff. Because Mum rained on that parade, as was to be expected. My big brother Fredrik sort of did as well, but then I think he felt bad about it, especially after Mum phoned, and he kind of ambiguously took my side when I was venting about what she'd said, but then my sister-in-law Annelie, who is the voice of reason always, poked a whole in the plan as well, saying that bartendering is even harder on the back than waitressing, so that excuse didn't fly. And if I wanted to work as a bartender, I should find a place where they're willing to teach me, that way I actually get paid for learning, as opposed to saving up for an expensive course. Which makes sense and sounds so simple when she says it, but... yeah, I'm not even going to go into it. The point is, I hear all of their voices now saying, "You want to make a career as bartender now? Bartendering, that's your dream job, is it? Waitressing is nothing compared to bartendering. How expensive is the course anyway? You don't even drink coctails!" etc, etc...

But they're missing the point completely, obviously I could care less about bartendering and coctails, I want to make films, you'd think they would have grasped that about now. That's my dream job, that's what I'm passionate about, acting, writing and directing, that's it.

Now, I'm just trying to come up with a "day job" that I can stand, that pays my rent, that leaves my days open, that has a flexible schedule and that I'm qualified for, and I can't stand waitressing anymore. So, that's all I can come up with. Anyone else has got a better idea, please, I'm all ears...