fucking tea and stuff

Drinking tea (red) even though I haven't got a cold. Am feeling cold though, as in chilly. I'll blame it on that. Hi by the way, long time no update, I know. I haven't even been busy this weekend, I haven't been doing anything, not even writing, or working on my social skills, just been in bed all two days and nights, sometimes dozing, sometimes watching something...

for example "Brideshead Revisited" which I bought on DVD recently, for two reasons, 1.) Jeremy Irons, 2.) homoerotic subtext, oh and I suppose 2½.) it was voted the best english TV show of all time... well, it was good for about two and a half episodes. Jeremy Irons was good all through out of course, but his character was like a watered-down version of Heathcliff in that he went from sympathetic to outright awful by the end, and the storyline tumbled quickly downhill in my eyes as well, I could never read the book... unlike Wodehouse's writings of Jeeves & Wooster there seemed to be no satire about it at all, quite the opposite, it painted the upper class world out to be this Paradise to revere and, in times of war, protect... well, I'll have to agree with my mum on this one - but I still maintain that P.G. Wodehouse is awesome and that she would like the books if she gave them a try *hint hint*

I haven't been bedridden from exhaustion either, which is the annoying thing... but I've been in physical pain. For one, I've managed to hit my left shoulder really hard, so that it's not only bruised but I'm only just starting to regain full mobility in my arm... same thing with my knee... and the icing on top would be the most excruciating after "working out/having slept on Stonehenge" muscle pain you can imagine in my entire back, shoulders and neck, neck so much so that I've had next to no sideways mobility in that department either... must have been from sleeping in some awkward position or something, because I haven't been working out, I've only been dancing a bit at the class party on friday! a few of us stayed behind, fought over which music to play and danced around for a bit, it was fun, except the part where I fell down and hit my shoulder, my knee and the back of my head in a chair and part of a wall... and I wasn't even drunk! ah well... bruises are cool, and pain lets you know you're alive.

I've also been reading this.

And in case I didn't mention it before, working with Simon Norrthon has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me, the work shop in general has, but getting Simon Norrthon as an actor on top of that, him being absolutely lovely, and amazing, and me not making a complete arse of myself, and learning quite a bit, and realizing for certain that directing is fucking amazing and it's definitely something I want to be doing more of, yeah... definitely one of the best things ever. So many things just sort of... clicked, in those days.

And I've been re-watching the film that I first saw him in when I was about nine, "Pensionat Oskar" which has been on second place of my top favourite films list for years (since I watched "The Indian Runner" and it got bumped down to second from first) but since watching it again lately (about ten or fifteen times, I'd say would be a fair guess, by myself... then once with Anja, once with my parents, and once with my little brother only we only got halfway because dinner got ready and he didn't like it...) and it's now bumped "The Indian Runner" down to second and reclaimed first place. Susanne Bier whose directed it is also one of my favourite directors now. And Peter Jackson isn't anymore. ("The Lovely Bones" being the reason. I can't even go into it, but.... even worse than the trash "literature" it was based on, completely commercial, sappy, predictable, pointless, etc etc etc.... yeah. DISAPPOINTED.)

The zombie film had its wrap party too. Weird. Nice. Weird. Sad. Fun. Awkward. Lovely. Yeah. I tried to "pitch" my novella film project to Rebecka, the producer, and she said she would love to read the script. I didn't even pitch the project to Caroline, I just sort of told her I wanted her with me if I got to make it, and she agreed. The pressure on writing this stupid script is therefore... yeah.

Going to bed now. Good night everyone.

The last of the exterior shots!

I'm stuck where treasures of childhood litter
the sounds of almost innocense linger
like a stuttering wail &
yesterday's morning was broken with a fist
These marks will also fade
(but I'll never be that smooth blank whole
again.)


About 16-hour day today, shooting outside, on the plus side we didn't have -18 degrees like we had the other day when we shot under St. Eriksbron (bridge) but on the downside it was really wet and damp, so it still got cold and it got in your bones, and my shoes and socks got soaked early in the day so I've been walking around with cold, wet feet all day and night. (You get used to it after a while.) Oh, and I had to get up at three in the morning to catch the night bus to get me into town and to school to co-ordinate extras at half past five, but the bloody bus just drove on right past me, so I was about ten minutes late anyway, so I could just have slept another half hour. But it was fine. I got some coffee from makeup and things went relatively smoothly, as did the rest of the day. Now I'm knackered, but that's a good thing since I'm heading to bed! Up (not quite as) early again tomorrow, which will be a holiday compared to our previous days since we'll be shooting in a studio at school, which means no having to find a location, no co-ordinating extras from and to bus stops and waiting areas and bathrooms and set, no scurrying around in ice-cold puddles all day, no fog or drizzle or snow storms or cold or rain, not getting lost, no confusion about who drives what car where... it'll be heaven! I just have to wake up, get to school, and then I just have to stay there all day long. And there's a 7-eleven just across the street. With proper, good, wonderful 7-eleven coffee. No more awful, toxic, (and in the case of outside shoots, iced) coffee you usually get on set. Okay, that was a bit of an exaggeration (not about the ice, you left your cup for more than five minutes, you could turn it upside down and the coffee would stay in the cup) coffee is still coffee, it could never be awful (unless you put anything in it)

But yes, anyway, sleep! and tomorrow: massive zombie shoot out extravaganza with real stunt men and fake weapons and cool special effects! woo hoo!

By the end of this shoot, the film crew won't need makeup to jump in as zombie extras...

Another crazy day on the zombie film shoot, and it's (definitely) not over yet. I actually left the team, cast and crew (we we've been shooting in three different ext. locations today, and when I left they were filming in the very central part of Stockholm, as central as you can probably be, on a roped off stretch of street just above Sergels Torg) to go into school and phone all the extras with call-times and meeting place for monday the 1st, something that my assistant was supposed to do but couldn't and he's also unable to help me out tomorrow, so instead of doing just my job tomorrow, I have to delegate and do both of ours, but I don't think it'll be a problem (and by that, I mean it's not literally impossible)

It's just that I have to, yet again, get up at four o'clock to catch the night bus to the tube and head into town to be at the school before half past five, which is when our first group of zombie extras will be arriving, and basically my task is to co-ordinate them between makeup and costume and then to the car that will take them to set, and then the next group will arrive at seven and after I've greeted them and shown them where the makeup artists are, I'll have to run to catch the tube which will take me to the meeting place for all the other extras that are coming tomorrow but who aren't zombies, and I have to gather them around me and herd them into whichever car the team can spare at that time and make sure they get driven to set...

I can just picture those of you who know me, or knew me, I should say, before this production, how I was then with structure, schedules and organizing things... I'm learning so much on this internship! I call people up on the phone left right and center, I keep track of names and dates and times and tasks, even without my notes, I keep notes, I even have a huge binder with all my papers in one place... no little crumbled up post-it notes, no scribbles on the back of my hand... I know!  

Okay, back to work! The only reason I had time to update this blog is that I was still waiting for the address of the location for monday and the call-times (we do everything, literally, at the last minute in this production... it's just how we roll!)

Det är ni som e de konstiga, det är jag som e normal

The most amazing thing happened the other night. I was working late on the zombie film and Anja phoned me, she was at the train station about to go home to Värmland for the weekend, and was just about to buy her ticket when her brother had phoned and said he had two extra tickets for Thåström! So obviously, since she loves Thåström just as I do, she decided to delay her departure until the next morning and phoned me! So more impromptu than ever I went to a Thåström concert with Anja, her older brother (also the dad of my darling child actor in my short film - that I've finally come up with a title for, by the way... "Vi stannar här" - We're staying here.) and his, slightly toasted friends. It was awesome and magical and fantastic. I love Thåström. When everyone else listened to Backstreet boys and Spice girls, back in the day, I listen to Ebba Grön and Imperiet (which is funny, because apparantly Anja's brother had said the exact same thing to her, except instead of Backstreet boys and Spice girls it was Per Gessle. The previous generation. And Thåström's still standing!)

I'm in the production room of the zombie film right now. People are going mad with stress. We start shooting on Saturday and nothing is done! It's still fun though.