There is nothing as magical as the fall of the first snow of the year. We could see the shadow of it through the frosted window and we ran outside and we were four again, but unfortunately time reduces the impact of magic, and each year it wears off quicker than it did the year before. We stood mesmerized for ten seconds staring up into the white noise. Then for the sake of being stubborn and not wanting to admit to ourselves that the magic had worn off and that we were freezing we occupied ourselves in comfortable silence for another minute: I made a snowball and threw it against the neighbouring building, then another one. Cesar wrote his name on the ground. I mapped out a peace sign with my footprints. Cesar did pirouettes and tried to catch snowflakes with his mouth. When you look directly at them they fall with such speed you lose sight of them immediatelly, but when you gaze through them like a blanket they seem to drop in slow motion to the ground. After the one minute we admitted defeat and strolled back inside to warm up again.
I can't believe I'm flying on Monday.
We haven't left the apartment for two nights, with the exception of the brief encounter with the snow. Cesar is going crazy. I wish I'd never had to leave again. He says we need a bigger place and more friends. I'm shutting the doors to reality and shrinking my world. How did we ever find each other and of what is our middle ground made of?
Time to get cozy on the couch and drink coffee and chew nicotine mints. I guess I quit smoking again. It's like this past year never happened, like it was all a bad dream, I'm right back where I was a year ago to the day -- I wonder what's going to happen this time around...
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