Despite friendly efforts to put things into perspective for me, I still feel like I've sold my soul, or am about to sell my soul, or something, and I'm still at a loss for what to do. Then again, I could just have been watching too much Supernatural.. which would be quite silly indeed, seeing as I only watch that show for the eye candy and the music! But anyway.
The plan for tonight was: go to bed now (eleven o'clock), get some good old healthy sleep, wake up at five (in the morning, yeah, I know) and go for a run (I know!) and have a shower and everything before getting ready for school. Well, needless to say, it's a quarter past one and I'm as sleepless as Meg Ryan in Seattle, I just finished cooking lunch for tomorrow and figured I might as well make myself a coffee while I'm at it, and now I'm here, back at the laptop with no intention of sleeping any time soon. If the second part of The Plan pans out (that would be the running aimlessly without even being chased at five o'clock in the morning part...) I'll let you know, but knowing myself that doesn't stand a snowflake's chance either...
Speaking of snowflakes... what are the odds of changing the world within the span of one human lifetime? You think? Leave thoughts in a comment please. And don't worry. Be as pessimistic and realistic as you want, I won't become suicidal because of it. Just curious to know your POV on the idea. That's all.
Right. As I'm up and reeling, I might as well make myself useful and do some writing...
But I won't. I'll read some slash fiction instead. Because I'm useless like that.
Have a good night, guys.
9 comments:
to change the world in the span of one's human lifetime, is utterly and entirely possible.
It just means going the length of doing something you really shouldn't... you know like risking yourself.
Something that I need to do pretty much, but afraid to do anything.
im gonna agree with mike...a friend of mine sent me a message when i was doing my show and this is part of what she said:
"people really can create change in the world - even if it stems from just one person and an idea."
And now some of my own words of wisdom.....the only things a person cant do are the things they tell themselves they cant do.
I feel like im changing the world everyday, one inch here and another inch somewhere else. This said by maybe the worst cynical out there, thing is though that I might not be changing it in the the direction I want it to be changed wich is totally out of my control. I give or I take but how people react towards that is in the open. Im standing beside and watching, Im one of those with words that like to talk about changes but I wouldnt change if it didnt suit my purposes. Thats why I think the only possible way to go is to make people think they change something for themselves, in the longrun people hate people and prefer to be alone or maybe with a cat or dog as the only company. If you do get suicidal, jump late afternoon because thats the time of the day that you probably feel the most sick of everything and most likely will take that step of the cliff, if you wait until the evening you might see a new morning coming up with new powers and oppurtunities.
Good pointers all around, thanks guys. Except for the tip about offing myself in the afternoon. If I were to jump off of anything, it would have to be at night, you can't do these things half-way, you have to get the package deal, tear-stained poetry and mourning veil and all :)
I would love to crash your funeral and just talk about how fantastic you were and make up stuff that you did for dolphins, polar bears, frogs, homeless and that it actually were you who got both Dawit and Annika Östberg out of jail, your family gonna be stunned and I will just sigh and cry and say 'Theres never gonna exist someone like that woman ever again' and then I leave.
I'm trying to think of a positive equivalent of haunting someone that I could do to show my everlasting gratitude from the other side of the grave should you do that...
My biggest fear is when I get super old, lets say 200 years and global heating have made my life horrible, Im already building up a need to have the fan pointed towards me at all times.
Could you as a nice wind from the other side just sweep the yellow blanket out of the nurses hands while they think that Im freezing and are about to put that around me, that would be a nice haunt. Every time I feel a good breeze I would think about you.
Okay, it's a deal. But I would have to limit my acts of kindness to situations of particular need or specific holidays, I wouldn't want you to take me for granted, even as a breeze, you understand...
Sounds lovely. I never take a nice breeze for granted, I just embrace it and smile as long as the chill stays with me. My job is to keep people alive and kicking so hopefully you wont go near that cliff the coming centuary, until then my fan will be running and everytime theres a snowflake landing in my face Im gonna add a nice thing about you to the funeral notes.
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