AAAAAHHHHH!

I got a letter from the Dramatic Institute in Stockholm. I've been called to an interview (step 2 in the admissions process)! And, spooky enough, my interview has been scheduled to coincide with the meeting with the film guy and the viewing of the room I want to rent, like all three are meant to be, you know? Well, keep your fingers crossed for me, guys!

Theo 1 Year

Tjockis (my cat) and I are sitting here, getting caught up with the email-checking. I just got back from Stockholm, went with my parents to my brother's place just for a few hours to celebrate Theo's first birthday.

He was cool as a cucumber and charming as always, but the older kids got a bit wired.. I don't think he got to hang on to a single present, the others were too busy fighting over them and running around and screaming and stuff.. but he was happy to just play with a couple of balloons that were hanging on the railing to the staircase. He didn't pay much attention to us when we sang to him and his sister blew out the candle on the cake, but once the stuff was in his bowl and he got to taste it, I think his eyes grew two sizes and his smile three! :)

My little brother and the parents are downstairs watching a football game right now, which I find to be the most boring thing one could possibly do, so Tjockis and I are hiding away upstairs, and in a minute I'm going to start on dinner.. just thought I'd share one thing before I end this, and that is, I got this phone call the other day.. This guy, Yassir Mustafa, is making a movie and apparantly he found my name and number on the job office's website, and he requested to see a picture of me, so I emailed him a couple and then he phoned back and said "You've got the role" (apparantly I have a romantic-looking face...) so I don't know what will come of that, but I agreed to meet him and read the script.. I'm going down to Stockholm anyway to look at a room, so I thought I might bludgeon two pigeons to death with the same blunt object and meet up with him. I'll keep you posted (that is, if he doesn't kidnap and/or murder me before I have a chance to...)

Language and spring weather

It just doesn't seem right, having a cold when it's such a lovely spring weather outside, it's just not right, damn it all to hell. Not that sunlight, empty skies, squeaking birdsies and fluttering cherry blossoms in my book add up to the definition of "lovely weather", but in a broader, more statistical way of viewing the topic, I would say that "lovely weather" within the norm, would be what is currently displayed outside at this moment. And the point I was, not quite making, despite great effort, was that I have a cold.

A mind-numbing, chill-throwing, age-reducing, puppy-whining, pitiful-whimpering, good-for-nothing-making cold... so go on, feel sorry for me.

On another note. I went to Bollnäs Folk High School with my mum yesterday for an all-day seminar on genus perspective and equality. The lecturers focused mainly on equality between the sexes, but I think mostly to narrow it down, it was fairly understood that the opinions expressed also covered that of ethnicity, sexual orientation, age and wealth. In other words, the equality part was directed at ALL human beings (and for some, ALL LIVING BEINGS) but the discussions were with focus on genus and gender. It was alright. I thought they were all being a bit timid, and mum didn't get her say because the woman arranging the whole thing has some grudge with her or something, and my head was killing me. But I guess it was good to get out of the house and that these seminars are being held. One woman said something that made sense (to me and most people in the room) but that made me think of my friends overseas and how it most probably wouldn't make sense to them at all and I realized it's no wonder you guys thought I was crazy when we were discussing wether or not it's okay to spank children when you're disciplining them, because I'm from a whole other world than you are.. this woman said as long as you use a dominant way of talking to your children and using threats such as "If you don't do this right now you won't get to do this later..." etc, children will learn to undermine themselves and as they grow up, girls will likely hold onto that and boys will take over the domineering, thus creating the gender roles in society (she said it better and it makes more sense in context) and I thought, I'm used to discussing wether it's okay to "physically discipline" children and here that's not even an option, it's not even imaginable, it's illegal and not even worth mentioning, here we're talking about how we address our children and what words we choose when we talk to them.. I just thought it was interesting.

aunt ida

I'm in my brother's place right now, in Gröndal, Stockholm. I baby-sat for my nephew Theo yesterday, the youngest one, because Annelie had an important meeting so Fredrik had to be with Milou (they're moving her to another daycare that's closer, so she's being integrated or whatever it's called, right now, which means a parent is with her the first week until she gets used to the new surroundings and the kids and the teachers) it was fine, I guess, seeing as we both lived to see today and we both have all our limbs left.. but I'm quite out of practise. But then again, he'd been running a fever all night before and he's getting a new tooth, so it wasn't one of his best days, so he was tired and cranky on and off all morning and didn't want to eat and stuff like that.. but we played with lego and watched TV and went for two walks and all in all I think we did pretty good.. I made a few embarassing blunders though, two at once in fact. When he was napping, which he does in his pram out on the balcony, I sat out there too and had a cup of coffee and worked a bit.. and then when he woke up he did so bawling so I just dropped everything and took him inside.. well, about an hour later, I realized I left my papers outside, and by this time it'd got windy out, so of course my papers were all over the balcony and the ground below.. and of course I could just put him down, plus he was crying again, so I tried to balance him on my hip as I gathered up the papers from the balcony floor and as I was doing so, a breeze shut the door. Which is fine cause it doesn't close all the way - only the latch dropped down, so I still couldn't open the door again, and the gap was too small to reach in with a finger and manage to get to the latch... so basically, we were locked out of the apartment. And at least four pages of my novel with notes and such on were fluttering around on the courtyard below.

I sat down and put Theo in my lap and the two of us started laughing, and I figured Fredrik and Milou should be back soon enough and let us in... but then a cold breeze struck us and Theo started crying again, so I realized it was ridiculous to just sit there with the poor thing when he was fighting a fever as it was. So I put him in the pram and tried to get the latch off using my pen instead and it worked and we got inside. But I felt really stupid about the whole thing..

I was supposed to go and view a room available for rent today, but for several reasons I called and cancelled. My brother knew the area the house is located in and said it's really far from City, and it's in fact a suburb outside of Stockholm, which would be fine, if a bit inconvenient if I have to take one bus and one train to get to school, but also I started getting a weird feeling about going out there with the guy all by myself, apparantly it's a half hour commute, and Fredrik said he wasn't going to take the time to go with me, so I decided to cancel. I've been in contact with this woman as well and today I spoke to her on the phone for the first time and she seems really nice, she's got as room available from July, the rent is the same and it's fairly close to the school in case I should get into that after all, and the fact that she's female makes me feel a bit better too even though I know it's sexist of me to think that way..

1st of May

So the police called my mum and a early last night. My little brother and his friends had been caught with the alcohol and been forced to pour it out. And apparently it wasn't just beer but heavier stuff as well. I think the police catching them was the best thing that could have happened. Hopefully my brother learned some kind of lesson... his friend's dad certainly didn't. As we were driving home from town (they came and picked me up from my friends' place as my mum got the cal on her mobile) they actually saw him and the wife in a pizza joint and pulled over to go and talk to them. Mum told him that she didn't tell the police that she knew where they got the booze but if it happened again she would. He didn't like that too much. He got a bit flustered and said he only bought the six pack of beer for his son and never meant for him to share and he didn't see why my brother would get a mark in his record and stuff. It was obvious to me that he was lying about the hard liquor, but at least, hopefully he won't offer my brother any to try any time soon (or my mum will report him to the police - which would be pretty cool, I have to admit!)

My brother phoned home this morning (he spent the night at his friend's place as well) and it's clear that the guy has been talking about mum, and not in a good way, because he was muttering about her getting involved and being hysterical.. but he can mutter all he wants as far as I'm concerned. He's fourteen, so it's illegal, end of story. And if he's going to try and test limits and get drunk, 1. he can wait a couple of more years, being athletic it would be stupid of him to throw his only interest (sports) away so soon, which he will if he gets in with that gang (it's always the same, every new generation in this village, there's always a group that starts drinking and smoking and destroying property and that stuff and it never ends well. I hate to see that happen with my baby brother..) and 2. he can get creative and get his hands on his own booze and not have some poor excuse of a responsible father figure adult buy out for him and the guys. That's just low and if he wants to buy booze for his own kid as illegal and stupid as it is, that's his thing, but he has no right to go making those calls for other people's children. Especially since both my parents are teetotalers because my dad's entire family are alcoholics and he's a sober one, not a good idea to start drinking until you're old enough to understand your own limits and until your body and brain have finished developing.

So, that's a cliff-hanger of the soap opera that is small town life, which I will keep you posted on.

I was supposed to hang out with friends down by the seaside today, barbeque, play this silly outdoor game involving sticks called "kubb", drink and be merry. And, the sun is shining, the others are waiting for me to show up, and I don't feel well at all... so I don't think I'll end up going. I'm going to force down some tea and see if I feel better (doubt it) and then I might go later on, but right now I don't feel well at all. Which sucks, because I was actually looking forward to this one. Because it's something different that we don't (well they might, but not when I've been around) usually do, usually we hole up in someone's apartment and drink and smoke and listen to music, but now we're doing the whole swedish summer thing and it sounded really nice and cozy.. ah well, the summer is long, I'm sure there will be other opportunities..

No demonstration today. Not even my parents, which I think has never happened in my entire life before, it being the 1st of May and all, I guess my mum's really fed up with the old owls in town and really want to get out of politics.. Seems like everything is changing. I guess that's a good thing!