I went into the job office and got them to order my train tickets (and pay for them) for when I go to Stockholm. Meeting with that film guy does count as a job interview after all... I didn't tell them about the interview at the school though, or the looking at a room for rent, but it's not like I out-right lied to them, technically...
I was up all night painting as well, so perhaps (hopefully) I'm coming out of my energy and creativity hibernation. About time. Spring came and went and I've hardly done a damn thing. Well, apart from taking some pictures and making a couple of crappy quality shorts. It's just not the same. Because I know what it feels like when I give something my all as opposed to merely functioning on auto-pilot and that's what I've been doing ever since I got back to Sweden to be honest...
Early this morning before I went to bed I came together with my inspiration again and accessed that higher level of whatever, energy, I suppose, you know the state I mean when you're not thinking, and you're 100% there and alive and your skin tingles and you feel slightly feverish, your cheeks are kind of hot and you're kind of dizzy and it's like an out-of-body experience at the same time as you feel more in your skin than you usually are and it's like falling and soaring all at once? yeah, you know what I mean... anyways, I had that last night/this morning, and it only lasted for about a quarter of an hour, but it was a wake-up call (yet again) and that's how I want to live my life, (almost) every moment of it. Not quarter of an hour every six months, all the time! Most of the time I'm not even here. You can see me and touch me and talk to me but I'm not really here at all. I'm somewhere else. Hiding somewhere. Dreaming. Drifting. You know.. well, I've had enough of it, I want to be here, where my feet are, and I want to do stuff, stuff that matter, you know?
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