Peter Pan and a Manic-Depressive Mermaid

One of the cafés that I went to in Gothenburg had this book case with a bunch of books that you could take for free, with labels for this website called bookcrossing.com and basically, you sign up a book there and then you give it away, and then every person who takes it to read will make a note of it at the website before passing it along and that way you can follow your books travels. I thought it was a lovely idea. I took a paper back of "Peter Pan" and read it yesterday at work, now I'm going to check out the website and see if there's a listing of places that hosts the books and if there's one in Stockholm where I can exchange the book for a different one. Maybe add my own.


Had another idea for a film on the train home last night. A romantic/family drama about a single mum who falls in love with a much younger woman who turns out to be bipolar (unmedicated) and it brings her and her daughter closer together in the end, told with a magical shimmer from being viewed through a child's perspective. I was thinking that the first time they see the young woman, they're at the beach, and the little girl gets it into her head that she's a mermaid (kind of like the kid in "The reflecting skin" who thinks the lonely widow is a vampire) and later when they get to know each other and bond, the young woman plays along with the idea, making up stories about her home in the sea, and in the end when she drowns herself, the little girl is convinced that she's just gone back home, and her mother lets her think that, but it's clear to the audience what's really happened. (Although there's definitely an element of questioning, who's right, the child's imagination or the adult's fear-riddled narrow view of the world) And that's the kind of thing that happens all throughout the story, and that's what I'd think make the young woman's ummedicated condition (bipolar disorder) interesting too, if it were perceived through a child's eyes, her extremes explained with child logic. So, what do you guys think of that idea?

Snow can wait, I've forgot my mittens

I've done nothing today. Barely got my morning pages out, curled up on the desk chair and read some random slash fic and let the hours spill away, made some tea, ate some rice and green lentils, realized the sun had set and lit my electric candles, answered a couple of ads on Filmcafe, sent a couple of scripts to another production company, made more tea; I should go for a walk, or shower; no, I should write. But I don't like to write because I should, I only ever want to write because I have to, and not from some outward pressure of expectations or deadlines, but from inside, from a pressure of words that need to get out. You can't force it, you can't wait for it, so what do you do.

Oh, I also checked out some youtube links that Kajsa shared with me, feeling the need to educate me in must-knows of musical genius from the 60s, 70s and 80s, and now I've discovered Patti Smith. I've also listened to Exene Cervenka and Lydia Lunch, but Exene I already knew from before through Viggo Mortensen, and Lydia I discovered today, but on my own. I think I might like her the best. But it's Tori Amos who's stuck in my head, the fragile notes of "Winter" playing on repeat, reminding me I should be writing up the fifth draft of my feature screenplay, but as always, I'm procrastinating, because I'm resistant, because I'm self-sabotage-ing, because I'm scared. I need to do yoga. But my room is too small.

In the head of Charlie Kaufman

Back from Gothenburg. The pitch was a nightmare, but I had a really great time hanging out with a few people from my class, and it went great sharing a room with Kajsa at the hostel as well, and today I went to what the festival called a "Masterclass" with Charlie Kaufman, and that was awesome. He's a really awesome guy.

Getting ready for Gothenburg

So I'm (soon) off to Gothenburg. I just talked to Kajsa, she's driving down and offered me a ride, and I'll also be rooming with her at the hostel, so we'll want to kill each other by the end of this weekend probably... no, I think it'll be fine. I love talking to Kajsa. On the first class get-together, I ended up having two separate conversations with her that were both hours-long and deep. And that doesn't happen too often, especially that soon after having met. But she's full of interesting thoughts and ideas, and she believes in a bunch of things I used to believe in, like spirits and ghosts, so it's also a bit nostalgic to be listening to her theories. I'm definitely agnostic now, since I do love to hear about different believes and discuss them with an open mind, but I'm leaning towards atheist more than spiritual now, and before it was the other way round.

Which created resistance in me as I started reading the introduction to The Artist's Way because it's all about how inspiration is a spiritual thing and to be creative is to be closer to God, and of course, my mind came to an abrupt halt, red lights blinking and everything, but then the introduction went on to say that if the reader was thinking these things or didn't believe in God or in anything, then that's fine, just don't let it stop you from doing the exercises because that's just your resistance talking, and when the reader came across the word "God" they shouldn't get hung up on semantics but replace the word with whatever rings more true, like flow, or creativeness, or inspiration, or positive energy, or whatever... and damn it, I'm both resistant and semantic, and I know it, so of course, I had to keep reading...

I don't own a copy of the book, I've only read the two different introductions and the beginning of the first chapter, since my teacher copied those pages and mailed out, but since I've already started on my morning pages, I think I should definitely get my hand on a copy. I checked out Amazon UK and found some fairly cheap used ones.

And to come full circle, I'll tell you that Kajsa just told me that see took that course about eleven years ago and it literally changed her life. So I guess we'll be talking a lot about that during the five hour drive to Gothenburg.

Commuting and plotting

Up at six o'clock for my first morning of doing morning pages (as recommended by The Artist's Way), feelings resistant the entire time, but I got through them, although I did cheat a little in that I washed up, brushed my teeth and made coffee before I started (I think you're supposed to basically roll right out of bed and start writing immediately. Also I think you're meant to write by hand, but I'm running low on note books, so I typed the pages on my laptop instead...)

I went into town to my sister-in-law's office in Old Town, to check out the rooms since I'll be cleaning there once a week starting next weekend when I'm not in Gothenburg for the film festival, for a little bit of extra cash. Then I had to rush back to the tube and travel all the way to Kungens Kurva for work at eleven -- same shift as yesterday, but I wasn't booked for it, but then when I was getting ready to leave last night, the guy came running up to me, on the phone with my contact person in the staffing company who does all my bookings, and wanted to know if I could work today as well, and I agree to do it, determined I'd make it work, and I did... only, when I got there and got to work, my contact calls me up on my mobile and tells me that she's double booked me, and that another girl is on her way, and she was technically booked before me, and would I mind going all the way through town to the other side of it and work in Järfälla today instead... and I did mind somewhat, but I agreed to do it anyway, besides, she said I'd get paid for the time I'm travelling as well, and I love commuting since I get all my ideas when I do... so I get my stuff together and leave again, and as I'm waiting for the bus, she calls me up again, and says the Järfälla people worked it out and wouldn't be needing me to come in... so then I went home.

I had a couple of great new ideas on my way home, though. So I'm not complaining at all. Also, I should be preparing for the pitch this weekend and pack for tomorrow anyway, and this way I have all day to do that... of course, knowing myself, I'll do neither, just post-pone it for tomorrow morning...